The godless God and Happiness
Includes an open vid to Elliot Page about happiness & 'Existential Dysphoria'
AN OPEN VID TO ELLIOT PAGE ABOUT HAPPINESS & ‘EXISTENTIAL DYSPHORIA’
(video link)
In the past several essays, I used the phrase ‘godless God’, I would then go on tie it into concepts like human ethics and mindfulness.
A recurring motif in my writings is Elliot Page.
In case you are new to my writing, I am a trans ally and am only saying nice things about him. In fact, to understand the concept of a ‘godless God’, you have to understand my references to Page.
A literary motif is a recurring element: such as an image, symbol, theme, or ideas that appear throughout a literary work. In the case of the Page motif, it is a touchstone in developing my ideas. Back in February 2024, I posted an essay The Gnosis of Elliot Page. In it, I talk about the ancient Middle Eastern philosophy of Gnosticism. I argue that Page’s knowledge of self – and his willingness to cultivate this knowledge by physically manifesting it – showed a connection to the Transcendent Reality.
In this piece, I am continuing to use the Page motif to discuss self-knowledge that leads to an awareness of the ‘big picture’.
I call this ‘big picture’ many things and that includes ‘the godless God’.
A person strives to connect to this big picture but is blocked by both the broader society and those that he or she depends upon. This creates fundamental tension within that individual. I call that tension: Existential Dysphoria.
In Christian Gnosticism – a variant that is completely different from the current form of the faith and largely died out during the third century of the common era – the concept of gnosis (Greek for knowledge) is central. Gnostics believed that self-knowledge was the key to spiritual enlightenment and reconnecting with the Divine Light. The Gnostic tradition did not view Christ as the Son of God and did not feel that belief in him was needed for salvation.
In Christian Gnosticism, Christ is often viewed quite differently compared to mainstream Christianity. While traditional Christianity sees Jesus Christ as the Son of God, Gnosticism presents a more complex and esoteric interpretation.
Christ is often depicted as a purely spiritual entity who only appeared to be human. This view contrasts with the orthodox Christian belief where Jesus is both fully divine and fully human. Gnostics emphasized Christ's role as a revealer of hidden truths rather than a savior.
This revelation was that the material world was created by a lesser, often malevolent, deity known as the Demiurge. In this context, Christ is seen as a divine being sent from the higher, true God (The Father of Light) to impart secret knowledge (gnosis) to humanity. This knowledge was meant to help individuals realize their divine spark and escape the material world's corruption.
Somewhat analogous to Buddhism, it viewed personal enlightenment as the means to ultimate knowledge. It was not a view that belief led to salvation.
This knowledge wasn't just intellectual but deeply experiential, involving an inner awakening to one's true divine nature.
I’m not Gnostic and could be called a ‘spiritual humanist’. I have developed the idea that the ‘godless God’ is the unknowable that ties everything together. The Page motif that is being used to express this.
In a prior essay The Gnosis of Elliot Page, The Gospel Of Thomas is key. This is a Gnostic scripture that was excluded from the New Testament.
It differs significantly from the canonical gospels of the New Testament (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John).
While ‘Thomas’ – and similar Gnostic scriptures – is a metaphysics-heavy view that argued for personal enlightenment, the canonical gospels present a narrative of the well-known Jesus' myth.
Unlike the narrative structure of the canonical gospels, ‘Thomas’ is a collection of 114 sayings attributed to Jesus.
The Gnosis of Elliot Page opens with verse 3 of ‘Thomas’ which encapsulates the Gnostic emphasis on self-knowledge.
This verse highlights that the kingdom of God is not a distant, external place but an inner reality. True understanding and connection with the divine comes from knowing oneself.
The Page motif in that essay and others develops the idea that a clear possession of self results in a connection to the Transcendent (which is unknowable). Being made-up drivel, mythology and metaphysics cannot describe it.
While Gnosticism provides useful metaphor, I do not believe it. I am a convert to Reconstructionist Judaism.
In this view, God is not seen as a supernatural being but rather as a power, process, or force that works through nature and human beings. This approach allows for a more metaphorical and experiential understanding of God, emphasizing the importance of Jewish traditions, rituals, and community in finding meaning and purpose. Reconstructionist Judaism views Judaism as an evolving civilization and encourages adapting practices to fit modern life.
I talk about Jews a lot. I feel a very strong affinity for them. The recent piece The godless God and Mindfulness is an example of this.
I’m no johnny-come-lately. In 2013, I posted an essay to Boulder Jewish News about my conversion called Buddha’s Last Words: Why I Became a Jew. At the time, I was really messed up. I was homeless, dealing with a decades-long problem with drugs and alcohol. The book Judaism as a Civilization by Rabbi Mordecai Kaplan was very helpful. It is an academic work and not self-help. While I have a fondness for titles on eastern philosophy, like those by Thich Nhat Hahn, I dismiss self-help books as manipulative tripe.
I embraced the Reconstructionist conception of God – which is really metaphor for connecting to the greater truth and becoming at peace with oneself and engaging evermore fully in life – because of how it is reminiscent of the Tao.
The Tao (or Dao) in philosophical Taoism is often translated as "the Way" or "the Path." It represents the fundamental nature of the universe, an indefinable force that guides all things toward balance and harmony. The Tao is not a deity but an underlying principle that is both the source and the pattern of everything that exists.
And I am nowhere near where I want to be. I am getting progressively closer.
The Tao is an impersonal, natural principle; the Reconstructionist Jewish concept of God is a metaphorical force; the Divine Light in Gnosticism is a fragment of the divine within humans.
While The Tao guides a person a progressively cleaner connection to the universe by having the person develop a more balanced view of life, the Reconstructionist Jewish God provides meaning through traditions and community. And Gnosticism tells us that one connects to the Divine Light by seeking liberation from the material world.
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) is a comprehensive classification system developed by the American Psychiatric Association. Mental health professionals use it to diagnose and categorize various mental health conditions. It allows clinicians to communicate effectively and make consistent diagnoses. The most recent addition is the DSM-5 which was published in 2013.
In the DSM-5, ‘Gender dysphoria’ refers to a condition where individuals experience significant distress because their gender identity does not match their biological sex. Understanding these genetic factors helps explain why transgender identities are consistent and persistent from a young age.
The reality of this phenomenon is not in dispute. There are – however – many explanations for it. Some argue demonic possession and/or mental illness. I passionately disagree with this. Science is establishing the existence of a natural basis for it.
Studies have identified specific gene variants that may contribute to Gender Dysphoria.
In transgender individuals , for example, there are variants in genes related to estrogen signaling pathways in the brain. These pathways are crucial for brain development and may influence whether the brain develops in a more masculine or feminine direction.
These variations affect brain development differently in individuals assigned male at birth (natal males) versus those assigned female at birth (natal females).
In natal males, these gene variants can disrupt the normal exposure to estrogen that is crucial for masculinizing the brain during critical developmental periods. This can result in a brain structure and function that align more closely with a female identity, leading to a mismatch between the individual's gender identity and their biological sex.
Conversely, in natal females, these genetic variations can lead to unexpected estrogen exposure or altered signaling pathways that cause the brain to develop more masculine traits If these pathways are disrupted, the brain may become masculinized, resulting in a gender identity that does not align with the individual's female biological sex.
These genetic variations highlight the complex interplay between hormones and brain development. They suggest that gender dysphoria has a biological basis, rooted in the way estrogen and other sex hormones influence brain structure and function during critical periods of development.
There is a compelling study that shows an apparent correlation between the physiology of a trans person’s brain and experienced gender dysphoria.
In 1995, neuroscientists at the Netherlands Institute for Brain Research in Amsterdam published findings from a post-mortem study, which included six transgender individuals. They found that the examined trans brains physiology was structured in a way consistent with identifying with their gender identity and not their sex assigned at birth. The researchers suggested that people identify as transgender because of how the individual’s brain develops…before birth. If transgenderism is reflected in the structure of the tranny brain that means that someone can be born with a male-typical body and the mental functions more typical of a female brain, and vice versa.
If the distinctive tranny brain formed in vitro, the only possible conclusion that transgenderism involves genetics.
It is my contention that ‘self’ is a complex phenomenon that is determined by genetics. This is true of one’s sexual nature, intelligence, artistic abilities, emotional traits and systemic mental problems (like schizophrenia).
There is a scientific discipline called 'ethology'. It focuses on the study of animal behavior in natural environments, including their social interactions, mating habits, and other behaviors. This field often involves observing animals in the wild to understand how they interact with each other and their surroundings.
Field research on higher order mammals, particularly apes, has shown that gender traits and behaviors are not strictly tied to biological sex.
Research by primatologist Frans de Waal shows that gender diversity is a common feature among apes. For example, some male bonobos engage in behaviors typically associated with females, such as nurturing and forming strong social bonds. Similarly, female chimpanzees can exhibit dominance and aggression, traits often associated with males.
My contention that the perception of gender is determined by genetics is further buttressed by the fact that transgender persons have been documented in many indigenous, Western, and Eastern cultures and societies from antiquity until the present day.
In 1990, the term ‘Two-Spirit’ was coined. It refers to indigenous North Americans who embody both masculine and feminine spirits. Within their communities, such individuals fulfill traditional gender roles that would normally be associated with a person of the opposing gender. Historically, Two-Spirit individuals held significant social and spiritual roles, often serving as healers, mediators, and keepers of cultural knowledge.
A person strives to connect to the big picture – godless God – but is blocked by both the broader society and those that he or she depends upon in the attempt to realize it. This creates fundamental tension within that individual. I call that tension: Existential Dysphoria.
Gender Dysphoria is a form of this tension. While the form of dysphoria experienced by Page is only shared by a minority of the population, many people experience some kind of existential dysphoria. There are many who have qualities – determined by genetics – that somehow run afoul of the larger culture. Those around that person repress the realization of those qualities. Being gay or trans – and it is really important to point out that these are unrelated – are obvious examples.
Those who have a genetic predisposition to be good at math can also be repressed.
Religion exists for many reasons, mostly messed-up ones. A person is fundamentally insecure. Being straight or cis are majority traits. A person who is either gay or trans makes that majority person question his existential nature. The majority gang up on the minority. The minority will be slaughtered by the majority if necessary to assuage insecurities.
People who define their sense of self by believing in nonsense myth hate those who are good at math, a prerequisite for being a scientist. That is because science questions the myths that validate the majority traits…being cis or straight. Science discredits the notion that those with minority qualities can justifiably be slaughtered.
I have to repeat that: religion exists to validate the majority conception of self.
This is from Carl Sagan’s book The Cosmic Connection: An Extraterrestrial Perspective:
All of the rocky and metallic material we stand on, the iron in our blood, the calcium in our teeth, the carbon in our genes were produced billions of years ago in the interior of a red giant star. We are made of star-stuff.
If the carbon in your genes was produced by the Big Bang and those genes – in part – determine your sexual, intellectual and emotional qualities, you connect to the Big Bang when you connect to these qualities. I call these fundamental traits ‘Authentic Self’.
When Page physically manifested his gender identity, he connected to his Authentic Self, a reality grounded in his genes. His genes are composed of the chemicals elements billions of years ago in the interior of a red giant star. He realized the star-stuff that is in him.
He touched the face of God.
Philosophical Taoism, particularly as expressed in foundational texts like the Tao Te Ching and the Zhuangzi, tells us the Tao (or ‘Way’) is both absolute reality and the process of making a connection to it. However, it is beyond literal description and conceptual understanding. It is ineffable, meaning it cannot be fully captured or expressed in words. The opening line of the Tao Te Ching states:
The Tao that can be told is not the eternal Tao.
Any attempt to define or describe the Tao falls short of its true, boundless nature.
My take is that a person has qualities – or predispositions – that are based in genetics. By connecting to these fundamental qualities, a person connects to the Cosmos.
I open the ‘Mindfulness’ essay with a Zen aphorism (as recounted by author Thich Nhat Hahn, a Zen Master and founder of the Plum Village Monastery in France).
This aphorism talks about a person pointing at the moon. That person should not confuse his finger for the moon.
It illustrates the distinction between the teachings (the finger) and the ultimate truth or reality (the moon). The finger is merely a guide, focusing on it (instead of the moon) means missing the essence. This aphorism emphasizes that words and concepts are tools to help us perceive the truth, but they are not the truth itself.
There is a level of order that cannot be adequately described (which I call ‘godless God’ and other things). This order is within and without a person. When Page physically manifested his gender identity – or, for that matter, began the process of doing so – he began to realize a deepening sense of happiness. As he followed down this path of self-knowledge, he connected to the godless God. In so doing, he realized happiness.
In the essay The Gnosis of Elliot Page, I talk about how a person experiences progressively more moments of perfect clarity. I call these moments ‘gnosis’ but my use of the word is very different from the way it was used by Christian Gnostics. As a person – whose fundamental nature is defined by minority traits – ultimately resolves the existential dysphoria that is unique to him or her, that individual realizes progressively more gnosis.
And me?
I am nowhere near where I want to be. I am getting progressively closer.
My perspective is unique in that I suffered profound emotional issues that were caused by a combination of alcoholism and a decades long over-prescription to an indescribably powerful anticonvulsant (by a factor of – at least – 600%). For those decades, the process of cultivating mindfulness (the basis of connecting to my fundamental nature) was waylaid – interrupted – completely. Having achieved an acceptable clarity of mind in my late 50’s or early 60’s, I am just beginning to cultivate the mindfulness needed to embrace God. However, I am tormented by deeply disturbing memories of the artificially-imposed madness. Since my present – furthermore – is an outgrowth of a chaotic past, my life is s***: substandard employment and a grossly retarded social life.
I m a work in progress but now – at least – I am working on it.
And that work is defined by experiencing progressively more gnosis. As I work through the past – and have moments were I touch the face of God – I embrace my Authentic Self.
I am a thinker and a writer.
Honestly, I hope to work for Mr. Page. It is my hope that he schedules a zoom call with me so that I can talk about how I can further his interests.
Namaste and Shalom,
John Eisenhauer